Be Ready for the Pain

This series covers a few of the items I discussed with a group of school superintendents back in April, for more background see this post.

 

This is the one that I think sobered them. When you see a very large church, realize that the Leaders are able to carry great pain in productive ways.

 

No one likes pain. It hurts.

 

Sometimes that pain is caused by those closest to us. Sometimes it is self inflicted. Sometimes it comes from staff or core congregants.

 

Being a leader is not pain free.

 

Many times I have spoken with pastors and they speak of a certain megachurch pastor and say to me “That guy has it easy.” My answer is always “You have no idea what you are talking about.”

 

I think it is my friend Sam Chand that says it this way – “Your ability to bear pain will be the determinant in your leadership capacity.” (see more of Sam at www.samchand.com)

 

While, as I said in my first post, Leaders have abundant ways to communicate, that communication leads to misunderstanding and mistrust often creating painful situations for leaders. And Big Leaders have to make Big Decisions that impact Big Groups and those decisions are hard, weighty and yes, often pain creating on some people. That grief is often returned in the forms of rejection.

 

Leaders have to be able to deal with that.

 

My friend Bill Easum used to say it this way “Leaders have be the midwife of the pain in the birth of new things. They have to hold the hand and help the body deal with pain productively.” I think that’s right when starting new things, or leading change. ( a shout out to Bill too at www.billeasum.com)

 

I also think that leaders have to be the hospice worker that helps the body with dying things, bearing some of that pain with the people.

 

Now School Superintendents, like most pastors, would rather be popular, well-liked, respected and lead pain free lives. But they don’t.

 

And wishing it were different doesn’t change things.

 

I am not saying that leaders need to choose the most painful routes and paths into a future. I am not saying that leaders need to inflict pain. I am saying that the pain endured is natural and can be productive.

 

Those that have started churches that have grown to a large size know this intuitively. At each phase of growth and development there has been deep pain and struggle.

 

So while it is the best time ever to be a leader, expect the pain to come.

 

The question is: How are your pain management systems?

 

Dave Travis

Managing Director

Leadership Network

www.twitter.com/davetravis